Hitchhiking 101: Ruthie: The Real Thing

Monday, September 3, 2012

Ruthie: The Real Thing

I came across a hitchhiker's blog, today, that it is so inane and strange that I refuse to post the link to it, here.

Where do people like that guy come from?

Geez!

He keeps asking to meet "a woman with children" (pedophile, anyone?) He drinks "wild turkey" while on the road (translation: STUPID!). He is asking for someone to sponsor him and film his hitchhiking. He says that one of the requirements of the deal is to include a "female experienced in the martial arts" (say what?!). And he claims that "two people have a better chance of getting a ride than one person does" (um...no, that is totally untrue).

In short, the guy is an idiot.

And he wants someone to film him while he is on the road and broadcast his exploits? Oh, Hell NO!!

That moron couldn't represent a real hitchhiker anymore than I could represent an astronaut.

And he wants to put his foolish, stumbling, jackass act on the air?

I've been on the road since 1993. And if anybody wants to film a hitchhiker, I'll put my eighteen-years of experience up against that witless wanker, anytime.

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HITCHHIKING 101

This isn't just an info piece about how females solicit rides. This is a snapshot of my life between 1993 and 2015.

Are you considering "jumping out on the road?" Then get ready to live your own, personal reality show: In full drama and in your face.

1.) Money: Don't flash it if you've got it and if someone besides a cop asks you if you have any...don't answer. Hide it on your person, especially if you eat at a soup kitchen or sleep at a shelter. If someone offers you some, take it. If someone asks you for some, consider what you'll lose if you give it away. Remember: SURVIVAL! A debit card, in many cases, is a wise alternative to cash. And never share your Social Security number, date of birth or your financial source with anyone unless it is absolutely necessary.

2.) Druggin', Drinkin', Smokin' And Stupid Thinkin': I quit smoking cigarettes years ago. I've never regretted that decision. I found that I couldn't share my wallet with or stake my health on that bad habit. I never carry or use booze on the road. And I NEVER carry or use illegal drugs on the road, either. NO ONE should ever hitchhike anywhere while under the influence. Taking that type of risk is just plain stupid. Either go out to the on ramp straight and sober, or forget it.

3.) The Law Of Enforcement: I've gotten along with most of the police that I've dealt with over the years. By that I mean that I've allowed the local po-po to search my backpack and me. I don't consider it to be any big deal...since I have nothing to hide. I always hand over my ID card when asked and appreciate the courtesy ride that I sometimes get from an officer. I am polite but I won't tolerate being the victim of some Dudley Do-Wrong's abuse of power. No cop has the right to throw my possessions around, detain me without just cause, transport me to a dangerous location or ignore my request for a basic human need such as drinking water.

4.) ASK: It doesn't hurt or cost anything to ask for shelter, food, drink or medical assistance. But it might if you don't. Severe weather, dehydration, exhaustion and any debilitating illness are reasons to get offroad help right away. Heat stroke and hypothermia can be avoided. You have just as much right as everyone else to be in a safe place during extreme or severe weather. And nobody has to go without a proper meal or medical care in the United States. ASK! Go to a church, a library, a hospital, a convenience store or call 911. When the situation is close to critical, MAKE YOUR NEED KNOWN!

5.) What To Carry With You: A cell phone (One Equipped With AccuWeather and GPS is best and include a standard outlet and "cigarette lighter" charger, too), a radio with a NOAA Weather Band (and batteries), a pocket road atlas (like Rand McNally), 100% DEET spray, a well-stocked first aid kit in a zipper mini-pak, a rain poncho, at least 70 SPF sunscreen, a water bottle (filled), a medium-size LED flashlight (and batteries) and a smile.

6.) What Not To Take: A dog, a cat, more than one pack, bongos, a guitar or anything that will either keep you from getting rides or that will make you a target. Don't carry a gun! You most likely will get away with packing a small blade knife. But don't advertise that you have it unless you plan to use it.

7.) ALWAYS let someone responsible know your travel itinerary and your ETA to your final destination. Keep that person informed of any changes in your travel plans. Yes, hitchhiking can be wonderful...but it has its challenges: Suspicious people who won't pick you up, perverts who try to pick you up and act out their hidden agenda, plastic bottles filled with urine and plastic bags filled with feces left by truckers on the side of the road, people who stop and then drive off again laughing, drunks who try to run you into the trees...and it isn't an activity to be taken lightly. Hitchhiking requires that you have a thick skin. But it is one heck of an amazing adventure!